I have learned a valuable tool for me in relationship. With a leaning to both "judgment" and "speaking my mind," I have found myself in conflict hell from time to time. So I have learned whenever I find myself in disagreement with anyone to first remember that the position which seems to me so foolish and uninformed, is, in the mind of the person holding it, completely reasonable. I have found saying to that person that "reasonable minds can differ" defuses many situations. The added benefit is that I find myself becoming more "reasonable" in the conflict of ideas. This recently brought me to another set of thoughts.
If "reasonable minds can differ," what do "unreasonable" minds do? After some thought I came up with this working statement.
Reasonable minds can differ but unreasonable minds demand agreement.
I think this may be true. I'd love to hear if this rings true for you, as well.
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Thursday, May 8, 2008
hatred of women
I am constantly noticing the diminishing of women that is part of the political process in the contest between Obama and Clinton. As a culture, we have decided that "decent people" are not racist, or at least they take care not to appear to be racist. This is a wonderful thing. I applaud it and am grateful for the change this illustrates. I know that there remains lots of personal heart changes that will continue in each of us as we address our racist orientation which was handed to us by our racist society. But we have made some progress overall.
There has been no shift in the cultural consciousness as it relates to women. Clinton has suffered attacks and dismissals based on her gender. When there was a fashion spread with recommendations as to what H. Clinton should wear if she is elected, it didn't include the two other viable contenders - Obama and McCain. NO it included their wives. Now if the idea was to discuss the fashion of the 1st spouse, why wasn't Bill Clinton part of the spread. If the focus was on Presidential appearance and recommendations, then Obama and McCain should have been included. It's fluff, minor, but it is gender based bias spread for all to see and internalize.
This is yesterday's experience of sexism. I guess if growth is the goal then I should be glad that sexism is so apparent in this particular moment in time. But each day carries a news statement, an "expert" opinion, or some tid-bit of information which is slanted to diminish Hilliary Clinton's viability and attack her personal worth. And no one provides a rebuttal. The voices of those who would bring attention to the sexism are silenced.
If the press, the party bosses, and the commentators can accomplish it they will force Clinton to leave the contest before it is actually over. Neither candidate has enough delegates to capture the nomination but the push is to shove the woman aside.
I'm afraid it is as I had suspected. When folks have to choose whether to let go of their racism or their sexism, they will choose racism. If they chose sexism that might mean actual changes in the power structure of their own personal lives. The privilege that males hold is at stake.
Notice, if you find this assessment unlikely. Notice.
© Angela Magara 2008
There has been no shift in the cultural consciousness as it relates to women. Clinton has suffered attacks and dismissals based on her gender. When there was a fashion spread with recommendations as to what H. Clinton should wear if she is elected, it didn't include the two other viable contenders - Obama and McCain. NO it included their wives. Now if the idea was to discuss the fashion of the 1st spouse, why wasn't Bill Clinton part of the spread. If the focus was on Presidential appearance and recommendations, then Obama and McCain should have been included. It's fluff, minor, but it is gender based bias spread for all to see and internalize.
This is yesterday's experience of sexism. I guess if growth is the goal then I should be glad that sexism is so apparent in this particular moment in time. But each day carries a news statement, an "expert" opinion, or some tid-bit of information which is slanted to diminish Hilliary Clinton's viability and attack her personal worth. And no one provides a rebuttal. The voices of those who would bring attention to the sexism are silenced.
If the press, the party bosses, and the commentators can accomplish it they will force Clinton to leave the contest before it is actually over. Neither candidate has enough delegates to capture the nomination but the push is to shove the woman aside.
I'm afraid it is as I had suspected. When folks have to choose whether to let go of their racism or their sexism, they will choose racism. If they chose sexism that might mean actual changes in the power structure of their own personal lives. The privilege that males hold is at stake.
Notice, if you find this assessment unlikely. Notice.
© Angela Magara 2008
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