Lists and lists

I have always made lists.  When I came home the first time from college my mother showed me lists I had made in 3rd grade.  She must have kept them to document my oddness from an early age.  I cannot deny it.  I make ridiculous, impossible, demanding, romantic lists of what I will do this week, this season, today, in the house, in the yard, creatively. The lists, pardon the expression, go on and on.

I’ve tried making shorter lists.  I tried prioritizing the items.  Nothing has worked to make me accomplish all the things on my list.  

My dear friend, Pat, offered another way. “I ask myself each morning, ‘what do I want to do?’ Then I do that.”  

Her system is easier for sure.  But it means I have to walk through each day making in the moment choices.  That’s not so bad but it carries repercussions.  

I find I fail to meet my expectations and those I have imposed on others.  I find I get lost in the simple process of doing the dishes and listening to harp music.  I've discovered that each thing I choose unseats another choice I could have made.

I still make lists, lengthy lists.  Then I lay down the pad and go do what calls to me first.  I am abandoning product and the ego satisfaction it can offer, to just do what I want. I don’t find it natural - I have worn a halter and bridle to judgement all my life - but I do find it easy. 

I’ll let you know how it works out.

What I know about Karma

 As a neo-pagan I have a basic understanding of how karma works. But the actual teachings about karma as part of Buddhism, Hinduism, or Jainism don’t speak to me.  I am unable to get beyond the hierarchy. What makes sense to me is the cycles through which life moves.  I believe in sowing and reaping.

If I plant a morning glory seed and it survives it will be a morning glory plant.  I fully accept this.  If I sow judgment and anger, those seeds will reproduce according to kind. The basic technology is the same.  You get out what you put in.  Hatred and greed can never flower into security and happiness.

This is not about justice, which is another entire discussion, but about the natural cycle of creation and propagation.  It isn’t the only cycle in operation on this plane but one of them.  Sow carefully, I tell myself, for the future harvest.  Thank you, past self, for the harvest I reap today.

˙

Kali the Compassionate

I first heard of Kali in my early Dianic days. In those days I was involved in a priestess training program called CELLA. One of the women I met then was Talon.  Talon was an ER nurse. I have had the opportunity to have several women in my life who are trained nurses. Each is a warrior-healer.  Talon had an altar to Kali in her house.  She had a sword and trained in martial arts.  Talon stood next to the blade of life, chancing cuts.

My experience of Kali is colored by Talon’s relationship with Her. Talon aspected Kali at one point in our ritual life together.  She shared her experience of the righteous and kind (in the way the pruner is kind to the rose) drive Kali had to “cut it away, cut it all away.” She is Compassionate.

This is the compassion not held inside the feelings of sympathy. It is the compassion of birth and death.  It is the compassion of the cycle that is relentless in all our lives.  It is the compassion of untethering and finding the strength of muscles not used. It is useful pain and the energetic stretch to hold life as it is.

Kali the compassionate abides with me, lest I forget. Her statue sits under my wood stove where she doesn’t frighten visitors.  She is a mysterious guest from another culture, another religion, another bioregion.  Yet I honor her. Essential Kali.

Jezebel matters

What does the story of Jezebel have to offer pagans?  Let me first say that this is clearly a story that tells us a lot about how powerful women can be treated.  It tells us a lot about the patriarchal structure that has been codified in the sacred book for three major world religions.  It’s hard to separate the issues presented for women from those for pagans but I want to try.

Jezebel was a princess in her own right.  Her marriage to Ahab, King of Israel, was a political union.  She came with her entourage, servants, and priests, and others necessary for her to have the life to which she was accustomed. The end to which she was brought is politically shocking.  Imagine Queen Elizabeth, when she was heir to the throne, being married to a neighboring king.  Now imagine that when that country has a political coup that Elizabeth was named a whore and sentenced to public execution.  Impossible, right?

It was possible because Jezebel was a pagan.  It was possible because the coup was orchestrated by the religious fundamentalist of her day. She was singled out to be a warning to all those worshiping any god other than Jehovah.

The second informative aspect in this story is the naming of Jezebel as a harlot.  There is no mention in any of the recorded history I have read that indicated any kind of sexual impropriety on her part at any time. So what was the accusation based upon?  The only assumption I can make is that her religion made Jezebel’s virtue suspect.  Much as centuries later witches would be persecuted for having sex with the devil as part of their rituals, the religious judges of the day imagined sexual sins because of the religious differences. What was different was consummately evil.

The rage of the religious zealot hasn’t changed much in human history.  Today’s fundamentalists have the same heart condition as those in Jezebel’s story.  It is for us to recognize our position and be vigilant for our freedom, our protections under the law, and our safety.  We cannot shrink from sight nor wrap ourselves in protective masks and disguises. Perhaps our best defense is our pagan visibility.  

Jezebel

the story of

Jezebel

I thought I might write of joy or justice for this week's post; or possibly Juno or Janus*. Nothing was really calling to me that named itself with a "j" word.  Then the name of Jezebel popped into my mind. (As a southern woman that name has some real resonance and power; to be a Jezebel is to be the worst kind of woman - more later.) As I considered Jezebel's story it revealed itself to have relevancy for this time both for pagans and specifically for women.  It has connections to our attitudes toward the planet and the policy that is destroying it.  But first, her story as I know it. 

Jezebel was a princess in a powerful kingdom. In an arranged marriage between dynasties she was wed to Ahab, the king of a neighboring kingdom.  As part of their alliance Jezebel brought her priests and religion with her and a temple for her gods was built in the palace. She was politically powerful and engaged in domination, slight of hand, and the other sins of privilege.  But the priests of  Jehovah were unable to tolerate their king and their kingdom's resources supporting this woman's religion.  They were, in a word, monotheistic fundamentalists. After Ahab's death, the rightful heirs, his sons, were killed. A new line, which outlawed worship of other gods,  was anointed to be king.Through a military coup, supported by the religious hierarchy, Jehu was crowned.  He pursued Jezebel and ordered her death.  The religious leadership sentenced her to be killed and her body thrown into the streets for the dogs to eat - which was the rightful end for a prostitue, according to their law. 

When Jehu arrived Jezebel dressed her hair and put on her makeup.  She stood in the window and Jehu ordered her thrown headfirst into the street as was decreed. 

*for clarity: Pagan blog project is using the letters of the alphabet as the unifying force.

Intention

Focused simple intention is productive.  In the tradition I practice we begin our ritual planning with arriving at an intention for the rite.  Is it to open to the moon and her energy? or to call for abundance? or healing? or to honor a seasonal change? or a holiday? Each ritual begins with an intention.

If I take that practice into my everyday life, it is also productive.  As a helpless list maker I can have a list of things that need doing that goes into pages.  But sorting by  what my intention for the day is, helps me focus on what will satisfy me today.

What is my intention? What is yours?

Heart healing for the Earth

This week's Pagan Blog post is a continuation of the Heart Cleansing meditation I shared last week.  In this week's post I share an Earth healing technique I use based on the Amber Heart meditation.  It could of course be employed with person to person healing as well.  

Heart healing for the Earth

Cleanse your heart or possibly just breathe on it until it fills your

chest cavity. This may take some time. Allow it the time necessary to expand your heart.  It’s like expanding your lungs with a deep chest breath.  In fact that can work effectively as you breath on your heart.

Recall your grounding cord or, if you have not grounded, drop a grounding cord into the Earth, down into her Center.  Breathe and expand that cord.  Keep breathing until the cord is the size of the trunk of your body.  Imagine a column opening between your heart and the center of the earth inside that grounding cord.  Now breathe on your heart. When it is filled to top of that column send down warm, loving, healing energy through the cord.  Keep slowly breathing and sending down the warm amber light from your heart.  (Don't do this too long - it is exhausting.  I would say 10 breaths then pause)  If you lose your focus, drop the cord again and repeat the process.  When you are ready to stop, breathe on your heart one more time sending down love and goodbye to this connection.  After this farewell remain connected and let yourself empty. Then just wait and She will reply. 

Note:  I have used the feminine gender pronoun for this working because that is my experience.  If another expression speaks to your soul – to your amber heart – then please shape this trance as is best.

Magical hypothesis:  One of the opportunities for pleasure available to humans is an energetic connection with the Earth.  It is love shared.  And it is in the sharing that the pleasure resides.